Geekery, Stuff, And So Forth

https://tmwrighting.wordpress.com

business email glossary

  • thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
  • thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
  • would you be so kind: fucking do it
  • best: i have never physically met you
  • all best: this conversation is over
  • all my best: i wish you would die
  • happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
  • i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
  • i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
  • sorry to chase: answer my email
  • so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
  • i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
  • please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
  • i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
  • i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
  • i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
  • can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
  • per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
  • great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
  • thanks!: i'm not mad at you
  • thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
  • thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
  • please advise: this might be your fault
  • kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
  • mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
  • can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
  • sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
  • let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
  • Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
  • Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think

francescadashmoo:

I couldn’t find this clip anywhere else so I’m just posting this fan-made animation…

this is the SDF-1 Macross, the coolest battleship in the galaxy preforming it’s transformation to some music from “Macross: Do You Remember Love?”

(via fuckyeahmacross)

mufasamonsta:

tahthetrickster:

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

image
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AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

image

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

(via clucku)

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Context: any reliable source will tell you that the language of flowers was only ever practiced by a handful of very narrow subcultures, and to anyone outside them, the selection and arrangement of a bouquet would have been essentially meaningless apart from its aesthetic value.

What many sources fail to emphasise is that even within those specialised subcultures, there was typically very little consensus regarding the meanings of particular blooms; a given bouquet could yield totally different readings according to different floriographic traditions, even if those traditions were contemporary with each other.

That in mind…

Concept: a group of young nobles resolve to aid in their friend’s romantic pursuits, and secretly have a bouquet proposing a formal courtship sent to a young lady of their acquaintance - in their friend’s name.

The recipient, however, adheres to a different floriographic tradition, in which the bouquet in question translates not as a request to initiate courtship, but as a solicitation for the services of a discreet assassin. By some horrifying coincidence, the young lady’s family indeed has a sideline in the assassination business, and though she herself has never taken on a contract before, she resolves that there’s no time like the present and sets about arranging her unwitting would-be paramour’s demise.

(One can either play it straight from there, or go with an escalating comedy of errors as bouquets admitting increasingly unlikely misinterpretations fly back and forth. Either works!)

@missalsfromiram replied:

I like this but why does she think he’s requesting his *own* assassination

Well, clearly when you’re putting a hit on someone, you send the bouquet in the target’s name - there’s too much potential for misunderstanding otherwise!

asajjventress:

asajjventress:

in every conceivable way orlando bloom seems like someone’s oc, like he was the design of an arrogant young human mind and not the universe’s cruel game of chance

“he’s a famous actor. he got famous playing the elf in lord of the rings. he’s unsettlingly pretty and he doesn’t age. he punched justin bieber. his name is orlando jonathan blanchard bloom and he was named after a famous baroque composer. original character do not steal”

(via clucku)